domingo, 9 de marzo de 2008

This Is Not A Drill

Quiero empezar aclarando algo: "This Is Not A Drill".

Efectivamente, porque los últimos días de mi vida fueron lo suficientemente remecedores como para ajustar los acontecimientos a la escala de Richter y Mercali, tan nombradas en un país tan sísmico, o en su defecto, paranóico como el nuestro; y además, porque las cicatrices que dejaron calaron con inusitada profundidad en gran parte de mi testa. Ahora bien, lo importante de una tragedia en un principio es, o por lo menos para mi fue el acto de reconocer los daños causados por el vendaval, pesquizar cuanta sangre se había perdido y además, recoger los fragmentos de recuerdos y sentimentalismos esparcidos en el sitio del suceso. Luego, y tras un corto tiempo viene el periodo más activamante inactivo del proceso, al cual quiero apodar como "Banco De Arenas Movedizas". Luego de haber recorrido todas las partes, recogido todas las piezas, y asumido la pérdida, se comienza una cruzada absurda, y te dispones a realizar acciones para recuperar lo perdido, para abrir paso a un nuevo periodo, pero mientras más tratas y te mueves al ritmo de las ansias, la desesperación y la disforia, más te hundes e inmovilizas en el proceso. Acto seguido: caes de lleno en un estado de vegetación, en el cual sólo tienes tiempo de pensar en "cuán mala ha sido tu vida" y otros lamentos bastante rebuscados los cuales sólo forman parte de un vulgar acto de generalización poco discriminativa, que sólo busca crear aún más tormentas en las pestañas y temblores corporales. Al tiempo, y sin importar que en el camino se vean luces de mejoría, te encargas de alterar el paisaje y ver todo gris, opaco y tornar hasta la más mínima experiencia en fantasmas y ecos del suceso motor del proceso. Es así como terminas en un hoyo sin salida aparente. Sin dudas estoy omitiendo la parte vital de la tragedia: "El Darse Cuenta".

¿Darse cuenta de que?, esencialmente de tres o cuatro cosas suficientemente obvias como para ser omitidas, pero no por eso de poca relevancia.

Primero: Nunca has estado en un banco de quicksands, ni siquiera cerca, sino que te encuentras sentado de frente con una pantalla luminosa que sólo busca encandilar y gastar algunos conos.

Segundo: Mientras has estado ocupado tratando de bajar lo más posible la guardia y autoflagelarte, han pasado muchos sucesos de evidente importancia. Hay gente que insistentemente intenta de tirarte sogas, e incluso de bajar hasta donde estas sólo para ayudarte, hay gente que siempre estuvo ahí, sin que te dieras cuenta.

Tercero: Complementariamente a la bondad y presencia de los mencionados arriba, te das cuenta además que hay gente que ni siquiera se entera de lo que sucedió, y sólo gastan sus esfuerzos en preocuparse de alimentar su propio festín, del ego por supuesto. En cuentas resumidas, te das cuenta que hay gente que "No vale la pena".

Finalmente, y lo más importante: Dentro de todas las personas antes mencionadas, existe una que siempre prometió estar ahí, en todo proceso, en todo vaivén, y pese a lo dificil que puede ser, extendió los lazos a distancia, fortaleció el corazón, y estuvo dispuesta a sacrificar todo por sólo tomar un pincel y esbozar una sonrisa en tu rostro.

Gracias a esa sonrisa, es que estoy nuevamente de pie.

KSL.

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